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3 Facts you might not know about BDSM

3 Facts you might not know about BDSM

Most of us over the age of eighteen have heard at least something about BDSM dating. But the very nature of it means that unless you’re involved with that kind of dating, you probably don’t know too much about it. The world as a whole is far less prude-ish than it ever has been before. But I wanted to delve a little deeper into the whole BDSM thing and find out a little more about what it really involves. I learned a few things that really surprised me!

1. BDSM isn’t always about sex

Yes, you heard me right! Despite popular opinion, bdsm dating isn’t always about sex! For some people, the whole dominant and submissive thing is simply about having power. For the dominant, the power and control can be a real boost to their self-esteem! Submissives often enjoy the thrill of the unknown and so both parties can actually get something out of the relationship without sex being a part of it.

2. BDSM is something only a small minority of people enjoy

I don’t know about you, but I always thought that the whole dom sub world was something that only a small minority of people got involved with. I was really surprised to find out that I was completely wrong about this! In fact, a survey undertaken by the Journal of Sexual Medicine found that in reality, 65% of women questioned had some kind of fantasies about being dominated! So, in actual fact, BDSM dating is far, far more popular than I had ever realised!

The term “BDSM” actually covers quite a large range of fetishes, including being dominated, acting as the dominator or simply just enjoying using things like whips and chains, so I guess it’s not actually that surprising that such a large proportion of women fantasise about this kind of thing.

3. You can’t always spot a BDSM fanatic

This is quite judgemental of me, but I had always thought that I would be able to spot the kind of person who enjoyed BDSM dating a mile off. That is simply not true! All kinds of people, from all walks of life enjoy this kind of dating, and there’s absolutely no reason why I should be able to spot them! None of us know what goes on behind closed doors, but even the most straight-laced of people have their own fantasies and desires, some people just like to keep their private life private. And why shouldn’t they?! In fact, as we’ve all been stuck at home during lockdown, more and more people have discovered that they enjoy this kind of thing.

I’ll be the first to admit that I had never really understood or thought about BDSM dating before now, but I have definitely educated myself and learnt a lot about what actually goes on behind closed doors. As long as BDSM is consensual and involves two adults who both get something out of it, then there’s no reason at all why this can’t play a role in many relationships.

*This is a collaborative post.

(1) Comment

  1. […] certainly isn’t new, but popularity has definitely become more widespread over the years. BDSM dating actually dates right back to the 1800s when Sigmund Freud came up with the term sado-masochism! So […]

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